Ukwivugana bamwe bafata ko bwoba ari ubusazi canke ubusaza wari uzi ko ahubwo ari ngira kamaro ku buzima bw’umuntu kandi abantu nka bose babikora?
Uyu munsi tuganira k’ukwivugana aho hari n’abagenda bivugana mw’ibarabara. Mbega iyi yoba ari ingwara canke ubumuga?
Ijambo ry’umutwe kuri ibi mu nkuru yanditswe n’ikinyamakuru HuffPost, mu buryo bwo kubaza riragira riti: “Mbega vyoba ari ibisanzwe ukwivugana?”
Mu buzima bwa minsi yose twama duhura n’umuntu agenda yivugana, uri uwo ataco bibwiye, n’uwundi abikora yinyegeje ukamufata atakubonye kandi abonye ko umubonye yivugana bikamumaramaza.
Bimera nk’ibimaramaje kuko benshi bibaza ko ari ubusazi canke ubusaza ukwivugana mw’ibarabara, mu nzu, mu bibanza bihuriramwo abantu benshi eka n’ahandi, yamara n’ibintu ngo bishikira buri muntu.
Abahinga bo bavuga ko ari n’ibintu vy’ingirakamaro.
Muganga Laura F.Dabney yanonosoye ivy’imibereho nyurabwenge “Psychothérapeute” akorera mu gisagara ca Virginiya muri Amerika avuga ko ari ibisanzwe gose cane kwivugana.
Laura avuga ko atari ikintu umuntu yovuga ko kizogenda kirahera uko umuntu agenda akura canke ngo umuntu yibaze ko ari ingwara yo mu mutwe, eka na mba ahubwo uyu muhinga avuga ko ari n’ibintu basanze bikwiye mubantu benshi gusumba uko twavyibaza.
Nayo Vironika Tugaleva umwanditsi akomeye yanditse igitabo cerekeye ivyo kwivugana citwa “The Art of Talking to Youserf” nawe agira ati: ” Kuvy’ukuri n’ibintu dukora twese “
Uyu mwanditsi avuga ko womenga n’ibintu bidasiguritse iyo ubikoze iruhande y’abandi bantu kubwiwe akavuga ko ari ibintu dukora twese buri munsi kandi bituma umuntu aha intumbero ibintu abamwo buri munsi.
Akarorero atanga aragira ati: “Ibaze nk’ubu ugira ufate urugendo ukaca uguma uvuga wiyibutsa ibintu udategerezwa kwibagira nk’ifunguruzo, ikoti, agasakoshi, ivyo gufungura kugira ntusange hari ico wibagiye.”
Uyu mwanditsi aratanga akarorero kandi aho avuga ko nk’iyo wiriwe ku kazi ukavugana nabi n’umukoresha wawe mbere ugataha binakuruhishije, ukwivugana usubiramwo bimwe muvyaranze ico kiyago ngo ni bimwe mu bintu biruhura.
Umwe mubahinga bafasha muvy’imibereho y’abantu”coach de vie” akaba yaranditse n’igitabo “Done with the Crying ” ibivuga ngo “Sinzosubira kurira canke ukwidoga ukundi gushasha” yavuze ko mu gikorwa ahora akora co guhuza abavyeyi batuntuye kubera abana babo babataye batakibavugisha ahora ahanura ko ukwivugana mu buryo bwiza bituma uyu mubabaro ugabanuka bigatuma uheza ukabandanya n’ubuzima.
Urubuga Nagaciro rwarashatse kumenya n’abandi ngaha mu gihugu cacu uko babibamwo. N’uko twarabajije umwe mubatwegereye ko bishika akivugana atubwira ati: ” Birashika ndakurahiye. Cane cane je navyibonyeko igihe mba ngira mfate micro mvugire imbere y’abantu nko mu manza. Ntaratangura, nsanga ndi ahiherereye ndiko ndivugana tumwe twa ‘Bashingantahe bapfasoni’ basha je mbere iyo ntatuvuze mba mbona ko ntaza kuronka n’ivyo mvuga.”
Tubandanije tuganira, uyu yatubwiye ko yibaza ahubwo ko ari n’uburyo bwiza bwo kwitegura”répétition”
Uwitwa Gael, umwe mubakiri bato yatubwiye mu mvugo inatwenza y’abakiri bato nyene, agira ati: “Man! je birya bi boro nibaza ko abantu bibashikira kenshi aba ari abantu bazi ubwenge sana. Hari umu brother tubana mwi kota(quarter) hari igihe mpora ndamubona yivugana ahandi akivugana afise n’igitabo. Man urazi uko azi ubwenge? Kw’i french n’icongereza ntiwomuhenda.”
Dufatiye ku nsiguro ya Gael umwe mu bandika inkuru kuri Nagaciro yatubwiye ko nko ku bantu bakunda kwiga indimi mva makungu bo bibashikira cane kuko hari amajambo uba ushaka ko ukuntu bayavuga bikuguma mu bwenge kugira ntazoze arakugora uriko uyavuga mu bantu, bigatuma rero wama wivugana. Ibi abivuga nk’ivyamushikiye kenshi ariko yiga indimi aho avuga ko we ari mucumba usanga ari mukiyago aho afata ko ari kumwe n’abandi bantu bariko bayaga mu rundi rurimi ku kiyago kanaka(sujet)
Itamar Shatz yanonosoye ivyindimi(doctorant en linguistique) kuri kaminuza Cambridge yo mu bwongereza avuga ko ari no mubihe bigoye usanga kenshi abantu bariko barivugana, agatanga akarorero ko kuba ushobora kwivugana nk’iyo hageze ko uhitamwo amahitamwo akomeye mu buzima, canke umuntu akivugana mu gihe c’ibigumbagumba.
Sheri McGregor avuga ko ukwivugana bishobora gufasha kwibuka ibintu, canke ugutorera umuti ingorane ntonto. Uyu arahanura ko atawogira ikibazo ko yivugana ahubwo ngo birakenewe mu buzima kuko bifasha ukwiyumvira, n’ugutondeka neza ivyiyumviro.
None ukwivugana vyoba bifise ingaruka mbi?
Eka na gato. Ikinyamakuru HuffPost kivuga ko ahubwo abantu babifatanya n’uburwayi bwo mumutwe mu gihe abantu bivugana kubera barwaye mu mutwe ari bo bake cane gusumba abakomeye.
Umwe mu banyeshure bo mu mashure yisumbuye i Bujumbura yaganiriye na Nagaciro yatubwiye ati: ” Ewe yemwe twe iyo tugiye gukora ikibazo c’imboroko tugenda turivugana dusubiramwo ivyo twize, uwobiduhora tweho yotumara.”
Laura F. Dabney avuga ko ukwivugana iyo guherekejwe n’ingiro ifise ingaruka mbi aho usanga umuntu yivugana akikubita, akikeba, akikomeretsa ari ho kenshi usanga afise n’ikibazo co mu mutwe.
